


slips away, slips away

by alpacas



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, also fjord might or might not have murdered caleb, coda to their little spat in e54 but shockingly not at all angsty, i'm not sure these two are capable of it frankly, jester and nott being Soft Girls, talking about boys and doing their hair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 08:31:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18070049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alpacas/pseuds/alpacas
Summary: Jester shakes her head. "No! I just wanted to do something nice so that we'refriends again!" [e54 coda.]





	slips away, slips away

**Author's Note:**

> **anonymous asked:**  
>  could you write a nott and jester fic about their 'girl fight' as nott calls it in the same verse as your other fic? You write so well, its so good, and i just want them to talk it out about her snapping at one of her good friends, because shes afraid, and its really stressful!
> 
> set basically in the same continuity as [this](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18061955) fanfic, which really is completely irrelevant. but remember how nott's stress got the best of her and she snapped at jester at the well, last episode? it's about that.
> 
> but mostly it's Soft.
> 
> ~~and i guess apparently there might be a second part because THESE DAMN ANONS~~

They all wake up far too early with straw in their hair. Beau stretches and grumbles with a sleepy manic energy and fresh bruises; Yasha is quieter than normal and gives off a vibe that says nothing as much as _don't fuck with me_. Jester brushes her hair and picks out the day's jewelry. Nott tries to steal a few more minutes in her corner, curled into a tight ball.

Beau nudges her awake with her foot. "Thanks for the armor."

"You're very welcome," Nott yawns, squeezing her eyes further shut.

"I'm gonna see if the guys are awake. And get food. Jess, you coming?"

"Oh… oh, sure in a minute, sure."

Nott listens to everyone leaving. She's on the edge, the very edge, of sleep. Just a few more minutes. Just a couple…

"Nott, do you want to borrow my brush?" Jester asks.

Not everyone, then. Whatever… just a couple more… she doesn't need breakfast…

"No thanks," Nott mumbles.

"Would you like to borrow a few hair ribbons or maybe some of my earrings to be super cute?" Jester asks politely.

Nott squints open one eye to see Jester looking at her with open concern. She runs her tongue over her teeth, careful not to press too hard. Jester sees her looking. "You have really pretty long hair, I mean, it's really messy, but since you don't have to wear a hood here wouldn't it be cute to look really cute?"

"Why are you being nice to me?" Nott asks suspiciously, now quite awake, her stomach tightening in her gut. Something is wrong. Something bad happened, and this is Jester breaking it gently, and…

"No reason!" Jester thrusts a pink ribbon in Nott's direction.

Nott sits up warily. "Did someone die? Did Fjord turn evil? Is Caleb okay? _Did Fjord kill Caleb_?"

"What!? No! Everything is fine! I just thought — I'm _pretty sure_ Fjord didn't kill anyone last night." Jester's train of thought has been lost, and she raises her beribboned fist to her mouth in concern. She shakes her head. "No! I just wanted to do something _nice_ so that we're _friends again_!"

"What?" Nott's stomach sinks, as does her heart and lungs and all her other organs, into a miserable guilty knot down deep in her gut. "Jessie, I'm not mad at you."

Jester looks dubious. Not hurt, but like she doesn't believe Nott, and that's actually a lot worse. Nott rubs her palms into her closed eyes. Her hands smell like straw and dirt. "I guess I kind of yelled at you."

"Well, yeah, a little bit," Jester says, now sounding offended.

It wasn't like Nott had _forgotten_ , it's just that she hadn't _remembered_. She remembers watching Fjord talk to the bugbear, poking around the well, everyone dragging their fucking feet, oh, I don't _know_ , maybe we _won't_ go into the _well_ , even if it's _important_ , even if Yeza is _probably going to get murdered any day now_ , she remembers everyone doing all that. Clearly. Enough that her body goes tight and tense even now, in the morning light, remembering it.

Nott's bracing herself to try and explain, to apologize, but the words are caught in her mouth and she doesn't know what to say, not without saying way too much more on top of it.

Before she can decide, Jester speaks up: "You know, you know I only can do some magic every day, you know it was a long day, it would have been stupid to go in yesterday."

"Oh, sure, what's another few days, or a few weeks, it's only our only way to get my _husband_ since no one wants to charge in and rescue him!" Nott snaps. She doesn't mean to, it just comes out. She absolutely means to.

"We can go rescue him! We're rescuing him right now!" Jester says, her voice high and offended.

"No, we're not! We're sitting in some stupid barn fighting!" Nott says back, her voice high and shrill, and she tosses, ineffectually, a handful of straw towards Jester.

She digs her fingers into the skin at the back of her neck, under her hair, pressing in so it hurts but not to draw blood, just to hurt a bit, just to clear her head, because she was _planning_ on apologizing and letting it go but now her heart is racing, racing, they didn't send a message to him last night, they _didn't_ , and last night was probably — he's probably _dead_ , and it's Nott's fault, it's all her fault —

The straw falls slowly and settles and Nott is aware Jester is watching her, but she's just looking down at her legs, breathing too fast, imagining death and blood and Yeza is so _weak_ , they don't know.

She remembers being in the goblin camp. Yeza pleading with the guards. _At least let them go, at least let my wife and child free, you can keep me as a prisoner._ As if goblins cared. As if goblins were nice. As if one would march up to the cage and say yes, okay, I'm a nice goblin and I'll be your friend. He's kind but he's a fool and now he's captured again and it's Nott's fault —

Suddenly someone is touching her. Someone is — Nott starts to flinch but it's a _big_ person, and strong, and then she realizes it's Jester, not grappling her but hugging her, there on the floor in the straw. "Don't be afraid," Jester says. "It's okay. Everything is going to be okay. Don't be scared."

Nott has been crying way too fucking much lately, but she feels the tears well up again as Jester rubs her back, the way Jester's mom probably rubbed hers when she was little, the way Nott —

"I'm sorry I yelled at you again," Nott says, getting tears and snot all over Jester's sleeve.

"It's okay. I'm pretty tough." Jester lets Nott sit there, sniffling, for a few minutes, all the while rubbing her back. When she's done, Nott pulls away with a final huge sniff of her nose, wiping her face embarrassed with the top of her undershirt.

"I know everyone's trying to help," she says, looking down, "it's just — this is a fucking _lot_. Also _hi_ , we're going to fight some demons in a _well_ today, like that's kind of a lot too?"

"I know, but, you know, we're the _Mighty Fucking Nein_ ," Jester says. "And anyway, we all have so much magic again now."

Nott sniffles again and keeps rubbing her face until it starts to sting.

"Also, I was actually only saying it before to be sweet, but now I'm actually really saying it, can I _please_ brush your hair? Because it is _super gross_ , Nott, you're a girl you know, it's _really_ bad."

Nott can't help but giggle. "Yeah, it's pretty knotted up…" she glances up and Jester is looking at her eagerly. "Fine, if it's quick."

"And then I'll put it in a super cute style…" Jester says happily, scooting over behind Nott.

"Just a braid or something."

"Something so cute! My hair is so cute and short, but I always liked doing Mama's hair so much, and you have long hair just like hers."

"Mm," Nott grumbles. Jester tugs at her hair hard enough that Nott is yanked a few inches backwards. "Ow!"

"Sorry. It's really bad."

"I'm sorry I snapped at you," Nott says again, part of her wondering if this is her punishment.

"Don't worry about it," Jester says, working on a particularly tough snarl. "Jeez, Nott, this is _bad_."

"I know," she says sullenly.

For a few minutes they're quiet, Jester combing out the knots.

"I used to —" Nott breaks off. What is she thinking? Then: fuck. It isn't a secret anymore. "I used to take really good care of it. I had really nice hair."

"When you were — when you were Veth, you mean?" Jester asks carefully, and Nott's heart stops for a second, the way it always does on that name, especially coming from her friend's mouth, the line between that life, that dream life, and Nott the goblin, all coming undone.

"Yeah," she says. "I was kind of proud of it."

"It was really pretty when I saw you," Jester says. Nott likes that about Jester, a lot of the time. She always has something nice to say, even if Nott isn't always sure if she means it.

"It wasn't green, either."

"There's nothing weird about green or blue or pink hair."

"No, but I liked it the way it _was_ ," Nott says, feeling embarrassed and contrary and shy, even over something as stupid as this. Veth's hair had been thick and long and she'd brush it until it was shiny. She hadn't had much going for her in the looks department, otherwise. She'd braid it with flowers and even sometimes ribbons. Now fucking look at her.

The brushing is getting easier; Jester has combed through the worst of the knots. "You know," she says, "this is the first time you've told me anything at all about yourself."

"That's not true. I've talked a lot about Yeza."

"That's not _yourself_ ," Jester says. Nott's heart gets that sinking feeling again. "I mean, I totally wanna hear all about him too and how you fell in _loooooove_ and what your _wedding_ was like…"

"Maybe some other time," Nott says, hunching in on herself as much as she can while her hair is still being brushed by a tiny muscley cleric twice her size.

"But I wanna hear about you, too! I mean, Nott —" except the way Jester says it, she isn't sure if she said _Nott_ or _not_. "We're like best friends, so I want to know about you and also, when you're stressed, you can just say it instead of—"

"I already said I was sorry for yelling," Nott interjects.

"Keeping it all inside and making you sad," Jester says. "You're a really nice person and you're also pretty bad at it. Can I give you super cute pigtails?"

"Definitely not," Nott says.

"Boooooo."

The tugging feeling on Nott's scalp changes as Jester begins to braid her hair. "We _are_ like best friends," Nott says carefully, "and that's — I'll try not to yell at you again, but that's why I didn't want to say anything."

"I don't think that's how it works. I'm _pretty_ sure best friends talk to one another about things and their feelings."

"It works pretty well. Me and Caleb went almost eight months without _any_ personal questions at _all_ ," Nott says proudly.

Jester giggles. "Then maybe just with me. _I_ want to know personal stuff and you can ask me personal stuff and we can do eachother's _hair_ and share _jewelry_ if you don't steal mine and walk around _naked_ —"

"I don't think that last one is normal girl's friendship stuff!"

"—and we have sleepovers and talk about the boys we like and romantic books! Beau and me do some of that, but she doesn't like boys obviously, and she doesn't like the _really_ girly stuff the way you and I do."

Nott's a bit thrown, to be labeled one of the girly ones: her, with her green skin and baggy graying clothing and _claws_. "I mean, I guess," she says, feeling her cheeks go green as she blushes.

"Great! So I _forgive_ you for yelling, and now your hair is so cute," Jester says proudly, releasing Nott with a flourish. She reaches behind her for her hair, which is braided on both sides and meets into one mega braid in the middle, a pair of sky blue ribbons threaded through, standing out brightly against the dark green. "And you should totally make you armor look like a cute dress or something," Jester adds, as Nott, weirdly, feels herself start to want to cry again.

She pretends to be super into examining the braid. "It's… it's nice, thanks," she says, wishing she had some flowers to add and a few more to give Jester.

"No problem! Because we're best friends! Now let's go find the others and eat breakfast!"

"You mean, find the others and kick well monster ass," Nott says, wiping her eyes with the back of her arm and pulling on her armor. She leaves it the way it normally looks — like leather armor — but then, just for fun, shyly, uses the glamor to add an embossed flower pattern to the hems, looking at Jester to see if she noticed.

"But I want breakfast," Jester pouts.

"I want to rescue my husband! Let's go!" Nott drags her by the wrist out the door.

"There you are," Fjord says: the others are all waiting in the courtyard. Caleb hands them both some cold sausages that leave their fingers shiny with grease. "I thought we were in a hurry?"

"Shut up, Fjord," Nott says and he grins smugly at her.

"Your hair looks very nice this morning," Caleb says politely.

"Yeah, nice new look," Beau says, yawning.

"Whatever," says Nott, embarrassed.

"Come on you guys! We have to hurry to the well!" Jester says, her mouth full of greasy sausage. "Let's go save Nott's husband! Right?"

Nott smiles back at her. "Right."

Fjord rolls his eyes, and Nott pushes ahead of him, to lead them all to the well.


End file.
